"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother" - Marriage and In-Law/Extended family Relationships

What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? 

Outlaws are wanted. Ba Dum Ching...

For the final post of my marriage blog, we're taking a look at in-laws and extended family. Ideally, these relationships would be supportive in encouraging us to become one with our spouse. Sadly, that is not always the case. There are also instances of spouses who struggle to let go of their parents and turn completely to their companion. I want to break down the responsibilities of both groups to help establish healthy boundaries. 

Elder Marvin J. Ashton:

"Certainly a now married man should cleave unto his wife in faithfulness, protection, comfort, and total support, but in leaving father, mother, and other family members, it was never intended that they now be ignored, abandoned, shunned, or deserted. They are still family, a great source of strength. ...

Wise parents, whose children have left to start their own families, realize their family role still continues, not in a realm of domination, control, regulation, supervision, or imposition, but in love, concern, and encouragement."

Married couples: (Harper & Olsen, 2005)

• Create a marital identity: It might help for a couple to think of themselves inside an invisible fence. Within this fence, information and behavior are shared with each other that should not be shared with anyone else. Daughters should share more with their husbands than with their mothers. Husbands should place the wife first. Wives should place the husband first, even above their children. (This can include other people, too. Friends, coworkers, etc.) 

Be careful about who you let inside your fence!

President Spencer W. Kimball:

"Couples do well to immediately find their own home, separate and apart from that of the in-laws on either side. The home may be very modest and unpretentious, but it is an independent domicile. Your married life should become independent of her folks and his folks. You love them more than ever; you cherish their counsel; you appreciate their association; but you live your own lives, being governed by your decisions, by your own prayerful considerations after you have received the counsel from those who should give it. To cleave does not mean merely to occupy the same home; it means to adhere closely, to stick together." 

We moved to Minnesota shortly after my husband graduated from college with two little babies in tow. We ended up being six hours from my family and 24 hours from his family. There were times that we missed our family and the help they could have given, especially as he traveled a lot and I was raising our young family, but in hindsight, it was the best thing we did for our marriage. It gave us the opportunity to rely on each other for everything. We still visited family for Christmas and Thanksgiving, but our relationship with each other grew strong. 

Where children are concerned, I have told our children numerous times that their father comes first in my life. I will side with him every time because I am going to be with him for eternity and they are going to leave me after eighteen years (fingers crossed) and find a spouse of their own. 

Parents:

There are three types of relationships parents tend to create with their married children:

• Enmeshment: Parents and children feel they always have to be together and to not be together is a personal affront. Loyalty issues are distorted. Children are made to feel that if they do not attend every family function then the parents will be hurt. Sometimes financial support is tied to how much participation is expected from the married couple. Parents discourage the married couple from taking a job that would move them far away. 
• If you are in this type of relationship with your parents: Express love to the parents for all they do, explain your need to further strengthen your marital identity, and explain that this is not a withdrawal of love and that you will participate in family gatherings when possible.
• Triangulation: This happens when communication either builds a stronger relationship with the parent than with the spouse or the spouse is excluded altogether.  Parents try to learn about everything happening in the marriage and "fix it". 
• If you are in this type of relationship with your child: When your child comes to you with marital problems, encourage them to discuss the matter with their spouse or a marriage counselor. 
• Closeness: Parents are secure in their relationships with their children and can be emotionally close without having to be physically close. 

"One of the great gifts parents-in-law can give to their married children is to recognize early that they must help define and protect the boundary of this new couple." (Harper & Olsen, 2005)

Accepting Differences: 

"80% of couples in failed marriages had not gained the approval or support of parents to marry" (Harper & Olsen, 2005). 

Sons and daughters-in-law are coming from their own unique backgrounds and family values. It can be very difficult to enter a family where there are strong differences and personality clashes. Even if someone marries into a welcoming family, there are unspoken rules and expectations that exist that take time to learn. However, differences can be anticipated and even looked forward to if one can maintain a positive outlook. These differences can offer broader perspectives and even create growth opportunities for family members. It can also be FUN!

I was a little nervous about marrying into my husband's family because I have heard horror stories of in-laws along with all of the jokes. However, I was extremely blessed to marry into a loving and welcoming family. One unspoken expectation in my husband's family is that you must play Pinochle! It's not really an expectation because many of the spouses who have married-in haven't learned how to play. However, I really wanted to be a part of my new family and that is what 90% of the people did at their family reunion. So I learned. It was a small gesture on my part to show that I accepted my new family and wanted to be a part of them. It also allowed me to spend a lot of time interacting with them that I wouldn't have had otherwise. Because of it, I have grown to love them and consider them my eternal family. Here's a shoutout to all of my brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and my father who adopted me into their family with open arms. It means more to me than you will ever know. 

CONCLUSION

Thank you for reading my blog. I hope it has been informative and encouraged you to recommit to strengthening your marriage. I feel the final post this week brings us full circle in helping us to a) strengthen our own marriage so that we can b) teach our children by example the importance of marriage and how they can build strong marriages of their own c) as we give them our loving and appropriate support and help them maintain healthy boundaries. 

Source:

Harper, J. M. & Olsen, S. F. (2005). "Creating Healthy Ties With In-Laws and Extended Families." In C. H. Hart, L.D. Newell, E. Walton, & D.C. Dollahite (Eds.), Helping and healing our families: Principles and practices inspired by "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" (pp. 327-334). Salt Lake City, UT: Deseret Book Company.

"And They Shall Be One Flesh"- The Power Relationship

This commandment to be "one flesh" was given to Adam and Eve. Last week I talked about how physical intimacy plays a role in becoming one and should also be SYMBOLIC of every aspect of our relationship. The adversary does not want us to be one. He wants to spread seeds of discord and contention. He wants to divide us and isolate us so that he can conquer us. 

I have been pondering on Adam and Eve and what we know about their experiences. It recently hit me that Satan was able to find them alone in the Garden of Eden to tempt them each separately to eat the forbidden fruit. Adam did not consult with Eve and warn her about the creepy snake that tried to get him to eat the forbidden fruit, and Eve chose to eat the fruit on her own without consulting or counseling with her husband about why and what that meant for them. Adam then had to make the decision to eat the fruit in order to remain with his wife and to keep the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth. Now we know this was necessary for the Father's plan to move forward, but perhaps there is a lesson in this for us as husbands and wives. 

After Adam and Eve were sent out of the Garden, we read that they labored, called upon the name of God, sacrificed, and taught their children about God and His plan TOGETHER (Moses 5:1-12). Perhaps they had learned a fundamental lesson "by their own experience" in the Garden about what it means to be ONE. 

The topic this week goes into greater depth on another post I made about how we need to accept our spouse's influence in our marriage. Read here: https://eternalmarriage1.blogspot.com/2019/06/the-impact-of-pride-on-marriage.html

What does the Power Relationship look like in your marriage? Is there one person who makes the majority of the decisions? Or do you counsel together and come to a decision together?

The marital relationship should be a partnership

Miller, Richard B., Ph.D.  Who is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families

BYU Conference on Family Life

• "Research consistently finds that happy relationships are most likely to occur in marriages where the couple shares power and has a true partnership" (Richard B. Miller, Ph.D., 2008).
• "When a man is not willing to share power with his partner there is an 81% chance that his marriage will self-destruct" (Gottman, 2015).

These research findings support doctrines found in the gospel.

1. Husbands and wives are equal: Numerous prophets have counseled that husbands and wives are equal and should not exercise dominion over each other. 

President Gordon B. Hinckley, Ensign, August 1992, p. 6:

"Marriage, in its truest form, is a partnership of equals, with neither exercising dominion over the other, but, rather, with each encouraging and assisting the other in whatever responsibilities and aspirations he or she might have."

2. Husbands and wives have different responsibilities, but they function as equals: EQUAL does not mean "the SAME". Our roles are clearly outlined in the Family Proclamation.

"The Family: A Proclamation to the World" 1995:

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners." 

Some might get upset at these clearly defined roles. One thing I love about the gospel is that we are given doctrine and principles and then left to use our agency to figure out how to make those principles work in our own unique circumstances. President Dallin H. Oaks taught that his role is to teach the ideal. However, he acknowledges "there are some exceptions to the rules. ...Whether an exception applies to you or not is your responsibility. You must work that out individually between you and the Lord" (Oaks, 2005).

The Family Proclamation also acknowledges this by stating, "Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation." However, our goal is to aim for the ideal and then do the best we can. 

3. A Husband's role as patriarch gives him the responsibility to serve his wife and family:

Unfortunately, in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there has been a misconception that holding the power of the Priesthood means that the husband is greater than his wife. Some wives even believe this. Jesus Christ, who I consider being the greatest among us, showed us by example that those who are greatest among us should be servants (Matthew 23). He washed His disciples' feet, which was considered a lowly and menial task, to drive that point home (John 13). 

President Thomas S. Monson, Ensign, May 1996:

"Priesthood is not given for the honor or aggrandizement of man, but for the ministry of service among those for whom the bearers of that sacred commission are called to labor."

D&C 121:41-42:

41 No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

42 By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile

4. Husbands and wives work together as partners: What does it look like to work together as partners? I can tell you that my husband and I have a bit of work to do in this area...

So...here is the dirt. My husband and I both grew up in big families and had to work at young ages to pay for our needs. We became very self-reliant adults. Because of this, it has been very difficult for us to think about including the other person in major decisions. In one respect, it is good that we are both this way. If it was one-sided, it would probably cause some serious problems. Let me give you some examples of things we have decided on our own to give you some context.

• One time, I felt the Spirit tell me that we needed to have another child even though we had decided we were done at six. We even gave away all of our baby stuff. But the Spirit prompted me, so I knew that it needed to be. I went off birth control without talking to my husband and told him when I was pregnant that "by the way, we're having another baby" not even considering the possibility that he might have a problem with it. It would affect our finances and our family dynamic, but did I care? Nope. Fortunately, my husband is an awesome guy and he was like, "Okay." 
• My husband has purchased cars and cruise vacations for the family without telling me. He also refinanced our house without telling me until he asked me to sign some paperwork. When I asked why he needed my signature, he finally explained to me what he was doing. There have been many instances like this where finances are concerned. I laughed and said, "We really need to communicate better." 

Aren't we the worst??? We are working on it. I like to think of this pattern as showing how much trust we place in each other to do the best thing for our family and that we follow the promptings of the Spirit without questioning, but really, we are just independent and NOT good at living this principle. 

President Marion G. Romney, Ensign, March 1978:

"[Husbands and wives] should be one in harmony, respect, and mutual consideration. Neither should plan or follow an individual course of action. They should consult, pray, and decide TOGETHER..." (Emphasis added and OOPS!)

"In a marriage companionship, there is neither inferiority nor superiority. 

The woman does not walk ahead of the man; neither does the man walk ahead of the woman. 

They walk side by side as a son and daughter of God on an eternal journey"

Gordon B. Hinckley

Sources:

Miller, Richard B., Ph.D. (March 28, 2008) Who is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families. BYU Conference on Family Life

Oaks, Dallin H. (2005) Dating versus Hanging Out    https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2006/06/dating-versus-hanging-out?lang=eng

Hinckley, Gordon B. (1992) This I Believe                                              https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/gordon-b-hinckley_believe-2/

Sexual Intimacy and Fidelity

Sexual Intimacy and Fidelity in marriage. It's a BIG topic. I cannot cover it adequately in one blog post. I want to hit some key ideas, though, to get you thinking. 

My knowledge of sexual intimacy in marriage was based on television and movies along with the admonition from parents and Church leaders to NOT participate it in until I was married. My mother made me a beautiful book that talked about Chastity and gave it to me when I was eight. That was it. I was eight and so even though I perused the book, I did not really get much out of it. There were some lovely pictures, though. (Thank you, mom! I love it and still have it.)

I knew how sex basically worked, but I never really understood how it could be beneficial except for pleasure and to have children. Mostly the thing that stood out to me was that it was bad, bad, bad. Then my wedding day happened... 

All of a sudden people were teasing me about the wedding night and telling me horror stories of their first experience. My dad told me he expected grandchildren and even got our wedding night hotel room. He put signs all over the room saying "Not yet!" On the bed was a sign saying, "NOW! Baby Tolman due April 26, 1997" (That was nine months from our wedding day. Ironically, we had our first baby on May 23, 1997, and then couldn't stop having children for the next 11 years. We swear my dad did a fertility dance in our hotel room.) Needless to say, it was ......weird. This was my dad who freaked out when he saw me chastely kiss my boyfriend good night when I was 18 years old. I kind of freaked out because I had this big GREEN LIGHT and I was not sure how I felt about that. I hadn't developed a healthy perspective on sex. Now we have nine children so clearly we figured it out. 

Here are some things I wish I had known. I share them with hopes that they might benefit someone.

1. Sexuality is a beautiful power given to mankind from God. It is not dirty or bad, but because it deals with powers of creation that should not be treated lightly, it must be used in accordance with God's laws to bring the full joy that can come from such a union. 

President Spencer W. Kimball, quoting Billy Graham, Ensign, May 1974:

"The Bible celebrates sex and its proper use, presenting it as God-created, God-ordained, God-blessed. It makes it plain that God Himself implanted the physical magnetism between the sexes for two reasons: for the propagation of the human race, and for the expression of that kind of love between man and wife that makes for true oneness. His commandment to the first man and woman to be 'one flesh' was as important as his command to 'be fruitful and multiply.'

2. Sexual intimacy is about more than having sex. I mentioned in another post that the biblical term for sexual love is "to KNOW." "A good marriage can survive without sexuality...But this intimate aspect of 'knowing' each other contributes to the wholeness of the marriage relationship" (Brad A. Barlow). Emotional Intimacy comes from developing our "Love Maps"(see my previous post). Emotional intimacy is what makes physical intimacy so special. So if you want to spice up the physical aspect of your marriage, enhance your emotional intimacy. Sexual relations are a symbol of what a marriage relationship should be. 

Wendy Watson Nelson, Worldwide Devotionals, 2017, "Love and Marriage"  https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/broadcasts/article/worldwide-devotionals/2017/01/love-and-marriage?lang=eng:

"Marital intimacy is ordained by God. It is commanded and commended by Him because it draws a husband and wife closer together and closer to the Lord! True marital intimacy involves the whole soul of each spouse. It is the uniting of the body and the spirit of the husband with the body and the spirit of his wife. That soulful union represents just how united a husband and wife are in ALL areas of their lives. They work together as partners. They pray, play, struggle, grow, and enjoy life together. They sacrifice for each other and encourage each other to be all they were born to be." (emphasis added)

3. Matters of physical intimacy should be discussed as freely as finances, children, recreational activities, etc. within a marriage relationship. Brent A. Barlow found that couples rarely talk about this aspect of their marriage because they assume that it "should just 'naturally' work out and that to discuss it means something has gone wrong."  https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/1987/06/they-twain-shall-be-one-thoughts-on-intimacy-in-marriage?lang=eng

President Hugh B. Brown (You and Your Marriage, 1960. p. 76):

"Many marriages have been wrecked on the dangerous rocks of ignorant and debased sex behavior, both before and after marriage. Gross ignorance on the part of newlyweds on the subject of the proper place and functioning of sex results in much unhappiness and many broken homes...If they who contemplate this most glorifying and intimate of all human relationships would seek to qualify for its responsibilities, ...if they would frankly discuss the delicate and sanctifying aspects of harmonious sex life which are involved in marriage, ...much sorrow, heartbreak, and tragedy could be avoided."

"Ignorance is the first enemy of sexual fulfillment in marriage...I am convinced that ignorance is perhaps the most costly deficiency when it comes to sexual fulfillment between marital partners. A failure to understand your own body, your partner's responses, and the essential ingredients of a healthy sexual relationship quickly becomes a failure to find sexual satisfaction as a married couple. Problems in this area of a marriage relationship can severely impact couple communication and caring, and leads often to insecurity, anxiety, frustration, anger, emotional alienation, and even divorce." (Sean E. Brotherson, "Fulfilling the Sexual Stewardship in Marriage"   http://www.familylifeeducation.org/gilliland/procgroup/Stewardship.htm)

4. We need to talk about the positive aspects and purposes of sexual intimacy with our children well before they are married. Perhaps we never had a good role model to show us how to talk to our children about sex. Perhaps we are afraid that to discuss sex with our children is to encourage them to try it. Perhaps we are uncomfortable talking about it because we haven't figured it out in our own marriage. Perhaps we don't know what is appropriate to discuss. What I do know is that if we aren't helping our children understand the purpose and beauty of sexual intimacy, the world certainly WILL educate them. 

President Hugh B. Brown (You and Your Marriage, 1960. p. 73, 76):

"Thousands of young people come to the marriage altar almost illiterate insofar as this basic and fundamental function is concerned. The sex instinct is not something which we need to fear or be ashamed of. It is God-given and has a high and holy purpose...We want our young people to know that sex is not an unmentionable human misfortune, and certainly that it should not be regarded as a sordid but necessary part of marriage. There is no excuse for approaching this most intimate relationship in life without true knowledge of its meaning and its high purpose."

What is appropriate conduct within a marriage? How can it be misused? 

Brent A. Barlow explained that some "people have become so obsessed with achieving pleasure that the emotion of love is all but forgotten. Still others use sexuality as a weapon or a bargaining tool. This is not only a misuse of a God-given privilege, it shows great selfishness on the part of one or both partners and makes sexuality a destructive rather than a unifying element in marriage." 

Misused Physical Intimacy 

 Prophets have instructed us on what is and is not appropriate in marriage. I was ignorant about what was appropriate after I was married. Some people claim that after marriage, anything goes. I wanted to know more but I didn't know where to look or who to trust and felt ridiculous having to seek answers even after being married for so many years.

Once I started seeking, I found a mountain of information from the right places. This is just the very tip of the iceberg.  

President David O. McKay 

• “Let us instruct young people who come to us, first, young men throughout the Church, to know that a woman should be queen of her own body. The marriage covenant does not give the man the right to enslave her, or to abuse her, or to use her merely for the gratification of his passion. Your marriage ceremony does not give you that right” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1952, 86). 

President Spencer W. Kimball 

• “If it is unnatural, you just don’t do it. That is all, and all the family life should be kept clean and worthy and on a very high plane. There are some people who have said that behind the bedroom doors anything goes. That is not true and the Lord would not condone it” (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 312). 
• “We urge, with Peter, ‘. . . Abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul.’ (1 Pet. 2:11.) No indecent exposure or pornography or other aberrations to defile the mind and spirit. No fondling of bodies, one’s own or that of others, and no sex between persons except in proper marriage relationships. This is positively prohibited by our Creator in all places, at all times, and we reaffirm it. Even in marriage there can be some excesses and distortions. No amount of rationalization to the contrary can satisfy a disappointed Father in heaven” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1974, 8–9; or Ensign, May 1974, 7).

 President Howard W. Hunter 

• “Keep yourselves above any domineering or unworthy behavior in the tender, intimate relationship between husband and wife. Because marriage is ordained of God, the intimate relationship between husbands and wives is good and honorable in the eyes of God. He has commanded that they be one flesh and that they multiply and replenish the earth (see Moses 2:28; 3:24). You are to love your wife as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for it (see Ephesians 5:25–31). 
• “Tenderness and respect—never selfishness—must be the guiding principles in the intimate relationship between husband and wife. Each partner must be considerate and sensitive to the other’s needs and desires. Any domineering, indecent, or uncontrolled behavior in the intimate relationship between husband and wife is condemned by the Lord” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1994, 68; or Ensign, Nov. 1994, 51). 

Elder Spencer W. Kimball 

• “Even though sex can be an important and satisfactory part of married life, we must remember that life is not designed just for sex. Even marriage does not make proper certain extremes in sexual indulgence. To the Ephesian saints Paul begged for propriety in marriage: ‘So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.’ (Eph. 5:28.) And perhaps the Lord’s condemnation included secret sexual sins in marriage, when he said: ‘. . . And those who are not pure, and have said they were pure, shall be destroyed, saith the Lord God.’ (D&C 132:52.)” (Miracle of Forgiveness, 73). 

Elder David A. Bednar

• “Marital status in and of itself does not exempt or automatically protect a man or a woman from temptations related to the law of chastity. Furthermore, there are also bounds for the appropriate expression of love between a husband and a wife. Dignity, purity, and mutual acceptability ought to characterize our most intimate relationships. The more we stray from the simple in our expression of affection, the closer we approach the perverted. Loyalty to your spouse, consideration, and, most importantly, the whisperings of the Holy Ghost will help you know what is right to recognize the path that will lead you away from temptation.” (“Moral Purity,” BYU-I Dev., Jan. 7, 2003)

FIDELITY

It is within the context of what real intimacy is and its divine purpose that we understand why fidelity is so important. 

"Fidelity includes refraining from physical contact-but that is not all. Fidelity also means complete commitment, trust, and respect between husband and wife" 

(Kenneth W. Matheson, "Fidelity in Marriage") 

I highly suggest reading this entire article. It takes you through one couple's story to help you recognize the steps we sometimes take unknowingly away from our spouse and the steps we need to take to get back.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2009/09/fidelity-in-marriage-its-more-than-you-think?lang=eng

"Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shall cleave unto her and none else."

D&C 42:22

Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle:

"And when the Lord says ALL thy heart, it allows for no sharing nor dividing nor depriving...The words NONE ELSE eliminate EVERYONE and EVERYTHING. The spouse then becomes preeminent in the life of the husband or wife, and neither social life nor occupational life nor political life nor any other interest nor person nor thing shall ever take precedence over the companion spouse."

THE MOST PROFOUND TRUTH I HAVE LEARNED 
Wendy Watson, "Love and Marriage."

"For true marital intimacy, the Holy Ghost needs to be involved. It is simply NOT POSSIBLE to have the kind of intimate experiences outside of marriage that you can have within because the Spirit will not be present. 

Elder Parley P. Pratt taught the Holy Ghost has the ability to increase, enlarge, expand, and purify 'all the natural passions and affections' (Parley P. Pratt, Key to the Science of Theology (1978), 61)...

Therefore, anything that invites the Spirit into your life, and into the life of your spouse and your marriage, will increase your ability to experience marital intimacy...On the other hand, anything that offends the Spirit will decrease your ability to be one with your spouse. 

Things such as anger, lust, unforgiveness, contention, immorality, and unrepented sin will reduce your attempt for marital intimacy to be something that is nothing more than a sexual experience."

RECOMMENDED READING:

• All of the articles I referenced in my post. Click on the links above.

These are books recommended by Sean E. Brotherson

•  The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love by Tim and Beverly LaHaye.  Excellent, Christian-based book on sexual love in marriage, frank and wholesome.  Great for engaged or newlywed couples, as well as couples at any other stage of marriage.
•  Between Husband and Wife: Gospel Perspectives on Marital Intimacy by Stephen Lamb and Douglas Brinley.  Solid and interesting perspective on marital intimacy from a Latter-day Saint gospel perspective.  Very good resource.
• Intended for Pleasure by Ed Wheat.  Book by a Christian MD and therapist with his wife, very insightful and well-done.
• The Sex-Starved Marriage by Michele Weiner Davis.  Well-known therapist and marriage educator has written an engaging and positive book about dealing with sexual challenges in marriage.  Brand new, a great read.
•  Purity and Passion by Wendy Watson.  BYU professor and marital therapist has written a book on intimacy grounded in gospel understanding and purpose.  Nice resource.
• Couple Sexual Awareness or Sexual Awareness: Couple Sexuality for the Twenty-first Century or Rekindling Desire: A Step by Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages, all by Barry and Emily McCarthy.  These are well-written, practical guides on sexual intimacy for couples by a well-recognized sex therapist and his spouse.

Here is a cool video about the physical aspect of how our bodies work to help us become one in physical intimacy! It is amazing! 

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlRCwoTDIlU